I love raiding, I truly do. But sometimes, it scares the crap out of me.
Meet my new nightmare:
We had our first night of tries against Teron Gorefiend. If you’ve not done the fight before, the gimmick is that every 30 seconds, a raider turns into a ghost and has to fight Shadowy Constructs. They can hurt the raid (brutally), but only the ghosted player can hurt them. It’s up to that person to save the entire raid from a wipe.
No pressure or anything.
So, try #1. Don’t let me get the constructs, don’t let me get the constructs…
I get the constructs. >.< No big deal, we were in the middle of a wipe anyway, but at least I had a chance to realize my bar mod put the abilities I need to use on my pet bar, instead of my main bar. Good to know.
Tries two and three – I lucked out. We wiped before the rng could hate on me.
Try #4 – Don’t let me get the constructs, don’t let me get the constructs…
I’m the first person to get the debuff! This is bad, I’m the only person ghosted, no one is going to be there to help me, this is all on me… and I choke. Completely. I got one shackle off, a couple of lances to slow them down, but my constructs were rampaging through the raid inside of 20 seconds. I failed miserably.
I hate this fight. I hate screwing up and causing a wipe, a repair bill, and wasted time for 24 other people. I hate that sinking feeling when I realize I just let everyone down when they were all counting on me to do this job.
My guild is great – this was a learning night, and no one was upset about the night of wipes. We needed people to get used to dealing with the constructs. And yet, my twisted little head decides to take this burden on personally – I screwed up, and we would have won if I hadn’t choked. That sinking sensation is driven home even further when someone says “Don’t worry, guys, it’s easy! Play the simulation game and you’ll get it in no time!”
If it’s easy, I must really suck.
I love raiding, I truly do; it’s just that sometimes I feel more like a liability than an asset.