Or: How To Make an Ass out of Yourself in 10 Easy Steps
- Be sure to be afk or be in the middle of an instance when invites start. Bonus points if you’re the main tank.
- Be online in Shattrath for half an hour before raid time, and still ask for a summon right before the pull.
- Make sure to leave your potions, flasks, buff food, and resist gear in the bank. Request a portal and summon back to get them.
- NEVER review the strategy for a new boss. Learn by trial and error!
- Go afk during the boss explanation, come back, and say “now what do I need to do again?”
- Talk over the raid leader during explanations or during looting. Alternatively, repeat what the raid leader said, using slightly different words. Repeat ad nauseum.
- Play the hero! Ignore healing assignments, group placement, and instructions on who is the main assist. Simply do everything you can to pad your dps, hps, or tps numbers.
- Post the damage or healing meters during the raid. Be sure to point out how awesome you are. Warlocks and mages: be sure to complete this step during fights and/or trash that requires aoe damage.
- Make everyone wait while you decide if you want that piece of loot or not. Be sure to check various class resources to confirm you would or would not like the loot, but do not reference these guides until the boss is dead.
- Mages! At the end of the evening, before the raid can click the portal to Shatt, make sure to have another mage put up a portal to Exodar or Undercity directly on top of the first. Repeat with as many major cities as possible.
If you complete these 10 easy steps, I guarantee at least one of your fellow raiders will log off thinking that you are an asshat. Congratulations!